nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
