I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
