I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
