i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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