dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
