The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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