sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So drunk its hurt
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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