im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the day after is always just damage control
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
