Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
