"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize