just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
