did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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