Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
