I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
