awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
