so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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