As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
