i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize