I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
