Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am spending my child support on dildos
either way he was missing a nipple.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
