So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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