Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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