And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
