the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
