I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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