Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize