i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize