I need help removing her.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
