did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
