i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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