It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Randomize
