OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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