his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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