He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
