Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's great music for shaving your balls
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
