the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
