I want to have your abortion
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
