I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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