I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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