aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
