What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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