Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
