i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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