the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
