Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
