I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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