GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
