why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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