I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
