Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
