I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
