ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
