Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
