she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
