Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
