Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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