it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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