brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love black thongs
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
