Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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