You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
