I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize