All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
