did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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