Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
