Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize