I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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