the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
