I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
