She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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