she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
